Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize