Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
