Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
