I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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