her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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