On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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