i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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