the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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