You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
