Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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