some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize