2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
