Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just want to make out with him forever
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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