well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
