When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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