the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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