Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When did we convert life to cartoon?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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