3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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