did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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