I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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