She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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