Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
