And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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