You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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