your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
