I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
