I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize