NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize