we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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