if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
