That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
