when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
