the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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