The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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