new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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