I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
