Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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