thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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