so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, beer. Big fan.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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