rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry about my life...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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