before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
