I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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