I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
