We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
