you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
