4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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