The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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