If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
accomplished twins. life is a go
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
