I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
