I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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