im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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