So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
