Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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