Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
