I didn't shave. On purpose
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
