i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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