I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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