I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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