Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
