Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
