I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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