ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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