I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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