yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
